Some of you may be catching wind of a story about some state level Michigan Republicans huffing and puffing because a female representative said the word “vagina” on the floor of the House.
Ignore this story. It is a sideshow.
Instead, please turn your attention to this guy. His name is Bruce Rendon, and he is a state representative from a tiny little backwater town in northwest bumble-fuck Michigan with a population of less than 1000.
Bruce Rendon is not an evil man, just a simple one. He has an associates degree in how to draw a straight line. He’s in the construction business just like his daddy used to be, and his idea of a god-fearing good time is judging dairy cows at county fairs. That’s fine. The world needs men who pin prize ribbons on cattle, but those men should not be given the power to legislate complex bioethical issues, because that’s how wars on women get started.
You see, this pointy-headed numnard recently introduced House Bill 5711, a ham-fisted piece of legislation that’s being called the nation’s worst anti-abortion bill. All the ridiculousness on the floor of the Michigan House is a direct result of this ignorant piece of draconian drivel.
It’s unsophisticated men like Bruce Rendon who in their righteousness are fucking things up for the rest of us, and though he may not be an evil man, that doesn’t make him any less an enemy, and I personally believe it’s always a good thing to know your enemy’s name.
Go fuck yourself, Bruce Rendon.
Should we name that sticky, sometimes slimy substance that gets left behind on your dildo or rabbit vibrator after fiercely masturbating with it in my empowered, free, liberal vagina after this guy?
1) Bans Abortions After 20 Weeks, Even For Rape And Incest Victims: A woman would not be able to have an abortion after 20 weeks of gestation based on the widely disputed idea that a fetus can feel pain after that point. The only exception would be if a woman’s life was in danger.
2) Transforms Doctors Into Detectives: The Republican-backed legislation would make it a crime for anyone to coerce a woman into having an abortion. Doctors will have to give their patients a questionnaire to inform them of the illegality of coercion and determine if the woman had been coerced or is the victim of domestic abuse before the abortion procedure.
3) Limits Access For Rural Women: Under the omnibus bill, doctors would have to be physically present to perform a medical abortion, thus preventing a doctor from administering abortion-inducing medication by consulting via telephone or internet. This would especially hurt rural women, who may have to travel hours to meet in-person with a specialist.
Let me stress the importance of #3. Not all abortions are the invasive and traumatic picture of tissues being surgically suctioned out of a uterus in a clinic. Many women receive a medication from their doctors and can go to the comfort of their own homes to take it. It results in heavy cramps and an expulsion of tissue, like a heavy period. The woman is in a familiar and soothing environment the entire time. Unlike a surgical abortion, there is no need to travel or deal with the stress of strangers while cramping. #3 would negate this benefit.
4) Requires Doctors To Purchase Costly Malpractice Insurance: If HB 5711 goes into effect, then doctors would be required to carry $1 million in liability insurance if they perform five or more abortions each month or have been subject to two more more civil suits in the past seven years, among other requirements. But the qualifications are so vague that almost all doctors who perform abortions could be required to carry the additional liability insurance at a potential cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
5) Regulates Clinics Out Of Existence: HB 5711 would create new regulations so that any clinic that provides six or more abortions in a month or one which advertises abortion services would have to be licensed as a “freestanding surgical outpatient facility.” That means that even if a clinic does not offer surgical abortions, it would be required to have a full surgical suite.